We have had a very long past few weeks. Between spring cleaning, baseball games, visits to family, garage sales, volleyball, softball and Eric’s classes….it has been hectic! (It gives me a new appreciation for the women/mothers who juggle much more than me!) I am learning how precious some quiet time alone can be, and how much I love an hour to relax and spend time with my husband. While reflecting on all that, I realized that maybe this “chaotic lifestyle” we’ve been living the past few weeks isn’t a phase – maybe this is life!
I know it sounds funny, but I think I’m finally realizing that the term “settling down” doesn’t mean what it implies at all! Granted, we enjoy a great house and family together. However, that may mean the crazy weekends of hitting the latest bar or restaurant, lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and cooking breakfast together, and the romantic nights with candles and a bottle of wine are inevitably the rarity now instead of the norm! Did I miss the boat on that transition? Have I been delusional all this time thinking that life could still be that way? Or maybe I just need to adjust my way of thinking!
The simple truth is, weekend nights are now enjoyed with the boys watching a movie and eating popcorn on the couch. Sunday mornings often include church, lunch, and maybe the boys’ baseball/soccer games. And romantic nights with candles and wine usually mean passing out early and waking up just in time for work with a headache! Wait….when did I get old? Where is that in the “I want to get married and start a family” handbook?
In all my times of reflection, I think I have realized this is just the natural transition from the single/dating life to the married with children life. But with those changes come with some additional experiences, such as grilling dinner at home while the dogs and kids play in the backyard, armpit-fart competitions with the boys in the pool, and other goofy and completely absurd moments that make being part of a new family so much fun. I love having those new moments, I cherish them and wouldn’t trade them for anything.
And yet, there is one thing I do not agree to succumb to. I don’t think “settling down” means you need to sacrifice the old things you once loved to do. In my past, I thought that beginning a life with someone meant to needed to sacrifice everything; find common hobbies instead of individual ones, sacrifice time with friends in order to spend more alone time with your partner. In reality, that is a tragic mistake too many of us often make. I now know that I still need those moments….time to myself to relax and unwind, the occasional Saturday night to party like college kids with my girlfriends, and the random Friday night with candles and a nice dinner with my husband.
Maybe the term "settling down" shouldn't be used at all. Technically, it's about starting over. It's about knowing what experiences and habits to give up, in order to make room for new and equally enjoyable ones. I think it’s different for each person. But for me, I love having the best of both worlds…and would like to keep it that way for a while.
No comments:
Post a Comment