“The only thing we have to fear is…fear itself.” --Franklin D. Roosevelt
Anyone who knows me knows I am not a history buff, but that quote strikes me, this week in particular. I have been thinking lately about fear and how it takes a choke-hold on our lives from the time we are little kids.
Take my 10-year-old stepson for example. This weekend was a stormy one, and he has a terrible fear of thunder. Even though he is old enough to rationalize with his fears, he’s still scared. We can tell him it’s just noise and it’s not going to hurt you, but for whatever reason, it still scares him. We may think it’s irrational, but to him it makes perfect sense. I think a lot of our fears stem from childhood. Like my paralyzing fear of bees (insert your mocking laugh here). When I was about 8, my mom and I got caught in our strawberry patch while a swarm of bees decided to nest in one of our trees. We had to run under a blanket to get inside and call an exterminator. Hence, I am still to this day, scared of bees and run like my pants are on fire when I see one. Some childhood fears seem to continue on as adults. The fear of pain is a perfect example. I will be getting a medical test done next Tuesday that will likely be painful. And just like a 5-year-old child, I don’t want to go because I’m afraid of the pain. It’s amazing how some fears never change, regardless of our age.
But as we get older, we can manage to talk ourselves out of most of the fears we had as children. Perhaps it was a fear of the dark, or monsters in the closet, or even the neighborhood bully. Those are simple things we can now look back on and say “that was silly.” But it wasn’t silly at the time…it was very real. And even though we are able to conquer most fears we struggled with as kids, there are new ones that emerge as adults. Perhaps the fear of losing a loved one, losing your job, the fear of abandonment, the fear of rejection…. the list could go on and on. It is amazing what a grip fear can have on your life if you let it. Especially those of us that watch the news or read the paper – we are bombarded with reasons to be afraid every single day! I am amazed that any of us get up and leave the house each day!
My point is that I think it is ok to be afraid, but not to let those fears prevent us from living the lives we want. We all still have fear (some more than others). Just like the little kids we once were, each person’s fear is very real to them, even though it may seem irrational to others. We cannot wake up each day being afraid to help out a stranger or take a chance doing something daring. Those are the moments in life that make it the most rewarding! Conquering your fear is the most exhilarating experience there is. So don’t dwell on what you are afraid of, and don’t be ashamed of it. Face it dead in the eye and get past it. After all, it’s really only the fear itself that we’re afraid of!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Sunny Day....
I feel the need to sing that Sesame Street song. If you are my age, I'm sure you know how it goes.... "Sunny Day....sweeping the...clouds away!" I love that.
Honestly, I cannot get enough of this beautiful weather! I know it's Iowa, and it will soon be scorching hot, muggy, buggy and miserable. But for the couple months out of the year that I can relish in the amazing spring and fall weather - I'm in heaven! I keep telling Eric we will be moving somewhere that's sunny and in the 70's all the time when we're old and senile.
Loki and I had the opportunity to enjoy a fantastic day to ourselves at Grey's Lake last weekend...he's such a poser. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Reconnecting
I have to admit, I had major hesitations with joining Facebook. I was worried it would open a whole can of worms and just be a distraction to the wonderful life I have already been blessed with. I also didn’t quite understand what the obsession was all about (I still don’t). However, I have since discovered that it is not a distraction, but a great tool to reconnect!
I have managed to get back in touch with long lost friends who I have often wondered about, but never pursued trying to track down. Facebook is like a great location for everyone to go “meet up”….people in my life now, people from long ago, and even some new people! How great it is to choose who you want to hear from, and how often you keep in touch. It is less intimidating than picking up the phone to call someone after 10 years, and much more convenient.
Call me a sap, but I am really enjoying getting back in touch with some people. Most of which are people who were once a HUGE part of my life, friendships I thought would last forever – but were torn at by distance and change in circumstance. I am realizing that these “old friends” are still friends. Although their life may be different now than when we were 17, they are still the same good-hearted, fun loving people I enjoyed spending time with long ago. We share lots of memories…laughter, tears and everything in between. That seems to be something that time and distance cannot fade.
Although most of us have all change dramatically from 10+ years ago, including spouses, kids, careers and so on, perhaps we can each sprinkle a little friendship from times long ago into our current lifestyle. After all, many of us are still sharing in the same joys and tragedies in life - and can probably continue to learn from and lean on each other. Let's face it, with the way things are today, we need all the friendship, laughter and support we can get!
I have managed to get back in touch with long lost friends who I have often wondered about, but never pursued trying to track down. Facebook is like a great location for everyone to go “meet up”….people in my life now, people from long ago, and even some new people! How great it is to choose who you want to hear from, and how often you keep in touch. It is less intimidating than picking up the phone to call someone after 10 years, and much more convenient.
Call me a sap, but I am really enjoying getting back in touch with some people. Most of which are people who were once a HUGE part of my life, friendships I thought would last forever – but were torn at by distance and change in circumstance. I am realizing that these “old friends” are still friends. Although their life may be different now than when we were 17, they are still the same good-hearted, fun loving people I enjoyed spending time with long ago. We share lots of memories…laughter, tears and everything in between. That seems to be something that time and distance cannot fade.
Although most of us have all change dramatically from 10+ years ago, including spouses, kids, careers and so on, perhaps we can each sprinkle a little friendship from times long ago into our current lifestyle. After all, many of us are still sharing in the same joys and tragedies in life - and can probably continue to learn from and lean on each other. Let's face it, with the way things are today, we need all the friendship, laughter and support we can get!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Cracking
I’m normally pretty good about handling stress. I have been through a bit of it in my life – especially during my divorce nearly 4 years ago. I can very clearly remember the few instances where it has gotten the best of me. Four years ago, it was that initial feeling like I was “losing it”. I felt like the happy facade I tried so hard to keep in tact, was cracking. I remember the feeling of hopelessness, utter frustration, like I was watching my life spiral out of control with no way to stop it.
In comparison, the stress I feel in my life now is minimal. But the number of things I am worried about have reached an all-time high. I have tried my best to ignore it or assume that it would just go away – the stress has been building. I feel like I can handle one or two things at a time, but it is when things seem to snowball and feed off of each other that I begin to crack. What is stressing me out you ask? Well, not being able to see my good friends everyday anymore, and knowing the struggles they are having; failing at trying to sell a house that we are quickly outgrowing; taking every pill possible to try and trick my body into getting pregnant with no success; and detesting every minute of my job - where I’m constantly critiqued and scrutinized, only to wake up the every day and wonder if my position will be the next to go.
The best evidence of the impact this is having on me (without my apparent knowledge), is the comments people have made to me lately. In the last 2 days, I’ve heard things like, “You look stressed”, “You look like you could use a break?”, and “You need to relax!” Now although I don’t condone violence, comments like that ON TOP OF stress, are enough to make me flip out. But instead, it has made me realize that perhaps the stress in my life is finally getting the best of me. Despite my best efforts, it seems that no amount of sleep, Tylenol or alcohol can make things better.
So now I have to face the reality of it – the stress in my life has finally gotten the best of me. I have been a crab to everyone in my life in the past month, mostly myself. I am cracking and I’m not sure how much more I can take. In the past, I lean on friends and family during times like these – but when even those people are stressed or relationships are strained, then I guess I don’t know how to handle it. So now I turn to writing to release my feelings, as I often do. But I think this time, even writing won’t be enough.
What now? Not sure. Probably shed a few tears, probably try to talk myself into not worrying so much, and ultimately decide that things have to work themselves out in time. In the big picture, it seems ridiculous to be acting so victimized. I am still truly blessed.
In comparison, the stress I feel in my life now is minimal. But the number of things I am worried about have reached an all-time high. I have tried my best to ignore it or assume that it would just go away – the stress has been building. I feel like I can handle one or two things at a time, but it is when things seem to snowball and feed off of each other that I begin to crack. What is stressing me out you ask? Well, not being able to see my good friends everyday anymore, and knowing the struggles they are having; failing at trying to sell a house that we are quickly outgrowing; taking every pill possible to try and trick my body into getting pregnant with no success; and detesting every minute of my job - where I’m constantly critiqued and scrutinized, only to wake up the every day and wonder if my position will be the next to go.
The best evidence of the impact this is having on me (without my apparent knowledge), is the comments people have made to me lately. In the last 2 days, I’ve heard things like, “You look stressed”, “You look like you could use a break?”, and “You need to relax!” Now although I don’t condone violence, comments like that ON TOP OF stress, are enough to make me flip out. But instead, it has made me realize that perhaps the stress in my life is finally getting the best of me. Despite my best efforts, it seems that no amount of sleep, Tylenol or alcohol can make things better.
So now I have to face the reality of it – the stress in my life has finally gotten the best of me. I have been a crab to everyone in my life in the past month, mostly myself. I am cracking and I’m not sure how much more I can take. In the past, I lean on friends and family during times like these – but when even those people are stressed or relationships are strained, then I guess I don’t know how to handle it. So now I turn to writing to release my feelings, as I often do. But I think this time, even writing won’t be enough.
What now? Not sure. Probably shed a few tears, probably try to talk myself into not worrying so much, and ultimately decide that things have to work themselves out in time. In the big picture, it seems ridiculous to be acting so victimized. I am still truly blessed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)