The Hardest Words

What are the hardest words to say? I'm not talking about the pronunciation, but the hardest words to say. For some people, it's "I love you." Thankfully for me that has come somewhat easy throughout the years, mostly because I have been blessed by so much love in my life. Although many of us as kids, didn't grow up hearing (or saying) those words to our parents or siblings. That perhaps is a lesson made easier as an adult.

Another one that is rarely heard (except by kids doing homework) is, "I need help." How many of us are comfortable asking someone for help, or worse, accepting help if it is offered? So often we are stubborn and think we can, and are expected to, handle anything that is thrown our way. Sometimes it is sickness, perhaps a financial burden, or maybe even mere emotional strain or turmoil. How often do we ask people for help? Why is it so hard to admit that we want to or need to lean on someone? I know I try to offer my help as frequently as I can, although it is often not accepted. I truly hope those I offer it to know that it is a gift, and should be accepted as such. Too many times we feel we will be a burden if we ask for it, or accept it.

But perhaps one of the hardest phrases to utter is those unmistakable words, "I'm sorry." Sadly, my mind reels at the number of times I have uttered those words. Many times as a child when I didn't fully grasp the need for authenticity behind my pleas. But more often, I have uttered those words as an adult. Not out of need or obligation, but as a need for redemption. I have hurt so many friends through frivolous and unnecessary words. I have disappointed those whose opinions I value most. I have created eternal heartache with those I have loved. Yet through all that, I have gained one powerful skill....the ability to say "I'm sorry". In my opinion it is never too late. Whether it's an old friend who you made the butt of jokes in school, a former relationship that went sour due to your bad decisionmaking, or perhaps even a family member you disrespected....it is never too late to tell them you are sorry. Although it is not something I wish I had learned, I certainly thank God for learning the need to swallow my pride and recognize my regret to others.

Think about what your difficult words are...there are more out there than you think. PErhaps they are words that you never heard as a child, or those you still long to hear. Chances are, if they are words that are hard for you to say, there's probably a reason.....
"I miss you."
"I'm proud of you."
"I forgive you"

If nothing else, pick one phrase and master not only the ability to say it - but the true ability to embrace what it stands for and live it every day.

Unappreciated Blessings

Some days I just want to clock out. Have you had those days? The ones that drain you to the point that you want to close the curtain and say, "thank you and goodnight!!" It was a good weekend - don't get me wrong, but it was one of those weekends that didn't seem to stop. It was one thing after another, as soon as I accomplished something, I stumbled across the next thing screaming to be done. On top of that, I signed myself up to work a very long 11-hour shift on Saturday night.

Sometimes it's not the things that need done, but the things that merely exist. It is something that was said that just doesn't sit right, something that was done that I disagreed with, the feeling I have when something is nagging at me....and those circumstances that were too frustrating to acknowledge. All of these things have a tendency to slowly chip away at any patience or energy I may have left for the day.

Don't get me wrong - I acknowledge that I'm being a total whiner, (after all, isn't that what having a blog is for?) I am lucky enough to be complaining about the very same things that I love. Being surrounded by people I am passionate about, having a great home and being able to lay down at night and feel good that I accomplished something and made a difference to those around me. There are many people in this world who only care about themselves - they neglect friends, parents and most importantly...children. To those people, I'd just like to say WAKE UP! It may be tough sometimes, it may be an inconvenience and it may require a little extra thought or effort on your part. But hard work is rewarding, whether it's the mundane tasks of daily life, or those extra touches that make someone's life a little brighter. After all, who really knows what tomorrow may hold?

It is these every day little things that I ponder on a daily basis, but today, I definitely realized these are unappreciated blessings. I thank God for hard work, and my ability to do great things every day - no matter how much they may wear me out!

Emotions Galore

Well, I started a new job this weekend. No, I didn't leave Principal, but I took on a new job as a bartender at a local event center (which will remain nameless). I had a rough first day being the new kid! "Excuse me maam, how do I get to the locker room?" or "where do I find that again?" got a little old after two short hours. In addition to getting lost at every turn, I was also frustrated by not knowing what to do or how to do it, and trying to meet people all on night one.
The work is tiring, being on your feet the whole time, sometimes lifting heavy items and walking a lot, and serving rude people while hoping they throw you a tip. On the drive home after the first night, I was done. I was convincing myself I couldn't do it, it wasn't worth it. I was frustrated and my body felt like it was going to crumble into pieces.

Thankfully, I woke up the next day feeling sore, but better. However, I was due to go in at 2:00pm and had a long night ahead - I was dreading it. Eric and the boys were partying at the Iowa game, and I was stuck putting on a uniform and going back in for another long night. Surprisingly, the 2nd night went much better. I already knew where to go, had met a couple people the night before, and started to get the hang of things. I still worked my butt off! But thankfully, I walked out at the end of my 11-hour shift the 2nd night feeling like I had toppled the dragon! This was something I could do - mostly because I was thrilled with the amount of extra money I had just earned.

On top of those emotions, I missed my husband terribly. I hadn't "seen" (meaning when he's not sleeping) Eric since Thursday night. I felt exhausted AND lonely. But when I walked in the door on Sunday morning at 2am, I was greeted with an amazing love note. He had written me a note telling me how much he missed me this weekend, how proud he was of me, and how he couldn't wait to spend some time with me. Not only did he leave that amazing note, but this morning, I found a gift bag and card in my car as a surprise! He went out last night and bought me the black Iowa Hawkeyes sweatshirt I've been wanting, and wrote me another wonderful note. What an amazing man I married. I'm very grateful that God blessed me with him and I never want to take him for granted. I love you baby.

After a long, hard weekend...I'm ready for another long week at my day job! Thankfully, I have a little extra hard earned cash in my pocket, a wonderful and loving man by my side and a great Iowa game to look forward to this weekend. One thing I guess I know to be true....work hard, play hard! Go Hawks!