No regrets

Do you ever have those days that make you think “what if”? What if you had gone to a different college? What if you hadn’t broken up with that boyfriend? What if you would have taken that job out of state? Sometimes I think about old friends I've lost touch with, opportunities I had, experiences that changed me, and decisions that pushed me in a different direction. I do a lot of pondering like that. I don’t do it to dwell on the past, but enjoy the memories and marvel at the amazing path my life has taken.

Most memories I think back on are good ones. I had a great childhood, good older brothers (even though they picked on me), amazing parents, a fantastic high school and college experience, etc. But spiced throughout those early years, I think back on things I would have and should have done differently. There were so many tears, too much "people-pleasing" in order to make friends, being afraid to stray too far from home and sticking with what was comfortable for me. Don’t get me wrong – I had some great successes! But in hindsight, I feel like there were times I should have grown up quicker, been stronger, not cared what people thought as much and thrown caution to the wind. The fact of the matter is, that just wasn't me.

It’s hard not to look back and think "oh, I wish I would have done that". Or to hear about someone I once knew and how successful they are, and reconsider the route I took. Then I wake up and realize that I’m being ridiculous to think such negative things. Perhaps it is just that old habit of being jealous that tends to creep in….I did too much of that in the past as well.

My reality is, I have a great life. I have made my fair share of poor decisions and mistakes – but ultimately I have come out on top. I have always searched for way to make myself better, help others more and expand the purpose of my life as a whole . There may continue to be times where I reflect upon what I could have done different, but ultimately I know there is nothing I should have done different, or I would not be where I am now. My parents comment that I am happier than they’ve ever seen me. What a huge compliment to that path I’ve taken in life – to be able to reflect my own happiness back into the lives of those around me.

Ultimately, I want a life with memories - but no regrets - and so far I am doing great!